11232269.1Breaking news. Have you noticed that there hasn't been any lately? That hasn't stopped the cable news networks from "breaking" news. They'll flash the urgent words up there so all the millions of people tuned in with the sound down - I mean who in their right mind can stand to listen to Tony Harris try to be .. regular? - will turn up the sound to listen to the "news" that Hillary is going to speak at the Democratic Convention. Really, they did that. We were counting blondes that day while having breakfast. I think we saw twelve, though Brother tried to count Heidi Collins as #13. I argued that Heidi is not only not blond, she is not a blonde. In fact, she is quite sharp and Tony must drive her nuts too.
What I wanted you show you tonight was this photograph taken by Mark Harrison for the Seattle Times. If there ever is a tsunami which obliterates Western Washington up to about the 9,000 foot level of Mt. Rainier and bears down on a group of cowboys and cattle grazing in the peaceful eastern highland sagebrush steppe,
this is pretty much what it would look like. For a few seconds.Rick Macherat
11232268.1It's too late. Getting up there in years, plus-forty or so? Thinking about that dream acreage out west, a place to park the arr-vee (when we get one?) I've been checking real estate listings out here for you for quite awhile now, and just tonight I came to a sad conclusion: way too late now. The listing that finally convinced me was one for a subdivided property: 533802 North Glacier Rim Parkway, .17 acre of view land for $85,500. Now, I happen to know where 533802 North Glacier Rim Parkway is and, just for reference in case you were interested, the last 12 miles are accessible only by sled dogs, then arctic climbing gear. The view is pretty good from up there though.
Down here in the flats it's even more ridiculous. The only house I found where the price was halfway sensible turned out to have some fire damage. They were dumb enough to include a picture. If I remember right it was $399,500 and "subject to inspection." If that was "fire damage," I don't know what "burned to the ground" would be.
The problem is that we're greedy, of course, and we've jumped about a generation and a half ahead on ourselves. Like we always do cause we're 'mericun. By the time the thing that futurists tell us will probably happen actually gets here, we've long since priced it in, run it up, gotten scammed and our grandkids are trying to unload it.
There is a certain element of magic in the science of Economics; yes, they continue to call it a science. I guess you couldn't really get a Ph.D. in it if they blabbed about the fairy dust. I started to realize that in Econ 201 when it became obvious that about 70% of the people in the large lecture class simply did not get it. Eventually, most learned how to do the formulas and color in the correct circle on the multiple choices, but they never did believe that it works. Economics .. a lot like Statistics only far more so. Essay questions even. They, we, grew up. We bought homes and other things and now here we are with yet another money crisis that no one understands. Oh, Phil Gramm understands it, but he made the mistake of forgetting what innocent children we all are. Phil, Phil, Phil ... do not try and make it simple; it only still works while it is unfathomable, like God sort of. You'd think he'd remember that.Rick Macherat
11232267.1Hold on to that candle. The move by a group of Australian and Canadian investors [aka Greedy Furriners] to acquire Puget Sound Energy needs some explanation. This gas and electric utility is the only source of home and business energy for much of Western Washington, including most of Seattle's suburbs.
Just so we don't get confused, these folks want US to buy OUR utility with OUR money and then give it to THEM.
The reason for this is to IMPROVE ACCESS TO THE CREDIT MARKETS. And just to avoid any risk of further confusion, access to credit markets (which would be THEM) is typically improved by paying more interest (that would be US doing the paying,) which is pretty much the plan.
Not that it matters anymore in the greater scheme of things, fellow losers.Rick Macherat
11232266.1Just for the sister-in-law. She's been calling me a little more often lately - the S.O. has been back just long enough that they're squabbling big-time now. I get to hear about it, her side. That's me, the perpetual sorority sister. I put a new recording on the home phone line this afternoon, Hello! (cheery) .. [pause] .. (that always ticks her off because she forgets and starts talking) .. Sorry, I'm not able to answer right now as I am either not home, asleep, dead drunk or heck, maybe even dead. Why not call some other time? Or whatever. Oh, and this is with the Pointer Sisters playing and in my Texas accent.
WHY do you do things like that?
Whu-ut?
That awful recording. Suppose you did die!?
I may leave it on there permanently. Sooner or later it will fit the occasion and maybe it'll get on Jay Leno.
Besides, you're not from Texas, so what's with that?
Ah know ah kin never be fruuum Tixas, darlin', but mah heart will always beat Tixas.
Which reminds me of the Bushes. Bushes know oil, so there has to be way more oil in Iraq than anyone suspects. I know, they dabbled in oil a bit before politics but what makes me think they "know oil?" Because everybody in Texas knows oil. It's in the blood. Geez, didn't you ever watch "Dallas?"Rick Macherat
11232265.1Ichiro. There is a piece in today's Seattle Times about Ichiro's glove. In it, Brad Lefton quotes The One, speaking of the man who crafts his glove:
"The Master can only listen with his ears to my demands about my glove," Ichiro says with reverence. "It's not like I make a sample that helps explain to him what I want. The ability to craft a tangible, high-precision object solely based on the information he hears is the definition of a master. Ordinary people can't do that. The feeling that I'm trying to capture when I put on a glove is different than another player's he might be making a glove for. So it's this uncanny ability to so precisely craft an object from an image that exists only in my mind that makes him a true virtuoso."
He's been here for like 6-7 years and had previously spoken about nine words in all that time. In any language.
Incidentally, Ichiro does not translate in Japanese as "The One." It comes close if you're somewhat fluent in A.P Alley Japanese, like me.Rick Macherat
11232264.1Friend of the Family. That was the old slogan, back when it was Washington Mutual. Warm-feeling and sounding, don't you think? I always did. Now they're WAMU. Soulless. Corporate. A little clumsy with the money. Ordinarily, I wouldn't care, but it isn't just another company. Although they don't have any of my money, Thank God, I am a stockholder. Much worse actually. Also, my parents bought this house with a mortgage from Washington Mutual. Three Hundred and Sixty monthly payments. 360. My father didn't live to see the end of it, though it was all his money. My mother was bedridden toward the end, and I wrote the checks for the last few payments. One day, I tore off the final coupon and mailed that last check in. Showed it to my mom and she smiled.
In the old days, a banker would actually come to the house and there would be a mortgage burning ceremony or something like that. In case you are paying a mortgage, I should tell you not to expect that in thirty years or so. Instead, you'll call the bank after about a month and get a very foreign person who will look up your number and inform you that, indeed, the loan balance is now zero and Was there anything else, sir. No? Then thank you for calling Wamu. Have a good night, sir. And you'll probably thank her too and wish her a nice morning there in steamy Cebu.
Tonight I had occasion to call Cebu again, because
I get annoyed when computers go down to begin with but especially so when it's the bank. You expect them to have redundancies upon redundancies. Miss Cebu was very nice, and so was I, as she asked twice for my credit card number (this was after the recording had asked for it three times) and I refused to give it and it was good to win that one because it became evident that a supervisor was listening in when she suddenly informed me it was all right not to give the credit card number for a general question such as this, but it was also obvious neither of them knew about any computer outage. Her superb English began to fail her as she got a little rattled at what by then was becoming my stubborn elder American senility. Sometimes that works, sometimes not. What I got was "one to two hours" and then "sometime after four a.m. Pacific time" which would be about nine to ten hours. I let it go; she was sweet and trying so hard. I did ask her permission to blog the adventure and she said yes with what might have been just the weeist bit of a giggle when I explained that I like to blog about companies with pleasant young ladies running interference for morons in suits at the top. Rick Macherat
11232263.1News from Nigeria. I can't share it with you right now because several minor administrative issues remain to be worked out, but there may be something wonderful to report here very shortly (hint: financial.)
In a related bit of news, according to the World Almanac and Book of Facts, published with every attempt at accuracy since 1868, the population of Nigeria will grow to 356,523,597 by the year 2050. Furthermore, it is expected that every one of those Nigerians will have Internet access.Rick Macherat
11232262.1Daily McCain report: "Aristocrat" joke bombs at NAACP Convention. Anyway, I got an e-mail from my stockbroker this evening. In fact, it popped into the inbox about 9:30pm. Sure, like he's still down at the office working out all the ways to make me money. More likely his poor assistant has a 10,000-person list of names to input the same crap to. In part, his glossy message to me said:
Retirement savings checkup The first part of our series on your retirement health shows how having a strategy now can help ensure the post-career lifestyle you want—even if it seems far in the future.
That's swell and all, but I retired .. let's see, this is 2008? .. 23 years ago. They (the brokerages) love to package up these phony "Plans" and then fit the one Just for You into your category. From what they've been sending me, they are under the impression that I'm a rising middle-aged player with a wee bit of a risk-taking bent but otherwise a long-term growth perspective. Growth? Growth!? How about some INCOME once in awhile, huh?
Over the years (45?) that I've been with this brokerage, and they shall remain unidentified except for mention of the giant bronze bullshit in their front plaza, I've probably bought half a dozen things they recommended. And every one of those items has been the "junk" each new broker is referring to when they come on and tell me, "We need to get rid of some of the junk in your portfolio." Truth is, I don't dislike this latest broker because he's dumb, which he is, but because he looks so much like my last boss, Old Fishface. So, why do I stay with them? Because the assistants, the woefully under appreciated ladies who do all the work, are so nice and take such good care of me. Especially when I get my occasional senility attacks.
What about McCain? Who? John McCain from the title of this thing, and the NAACP? And what is the Aristocrat joke? Sorry, there's no way to type that.Rick Macherat
11232261.1And while I think of it. You all might have noticed that I occasionally mention going to Dennys. A lot of the time that's a crutch - I just don't remember where I did go. Worse yet, Brother and I went out about a week ago and specifically chose a particular K-Mart because there is a Dennys on the way back and you'll never guess what. It was Gone! Not just closed, but gone, scraped right down to the dirt. Now that's harsh.Rick Macherat
11232260.1You too can learn Mandarin. I'm still getting my whas-hapn news from Time Magazine. Loser. That's where I discovered 卐. Imagine having a text thing for 卐. Anyway, turns out if you keep putting in numbers at random - 21329, 21330 etc., eventually you can learn the entire character "alphabet," or whatever they call it, for Chinese (Mandarin, plus Japanese and Korean.) I wonder how long it will take.
I have still never high-fived and don't plan to. That's why I would only tell it here where none of my many readers can touch me. That, and hugging, are two grotesque habits which I hoped would disappear with the new millennium. Oh, I'm not averse to touching, just not touching strangers. Or things they have touched, like bathroom doors. The other day this old guy and I cracked up as we were leaving the terlit in Dennys, both with paper towel in hand for the door. I thought for a long time only my mom, silly her, did that. It seems the practice is pretty widespread these days. Sister-in-law thinks it's stupid. (And she has a cold most of the time!)
Backpacks are another thing which I won't do. Seattle is very big on backpacks. When some dude is getting on the elevator with a backpack, wearing shorts and some Nordstromy top and carrying a bicycle wheel, I always fumble for the OPEN button and "accidentally" hit the CLOSE to spin him around in as awkward a fashion as possible. You're terrible. I know, and getting terribler every day. Those people are just too precious. Sometimes they make me wish I drove about a '68 Ford station wagon with a bad muffler, blowing clouds of smoke, just so I could rev it up at intersections.
How did I ever get through umpteen years of college without ever owning a backpack? Or even seeing one? We didn't carry our books around, just a spiral notebook for each class on that trip up the hill. Not complicated. Oh, and there were drinking fountains in those days too. Rick Macherat
11232259.1The Interstate Water System. You'll remember when President Eisenhower announced it - what a massive project! Jeez, who'd ever live to see it finished? Well, we did, and then some, though people like me hate it now and drive on the back roads mostly. Point is, the idea was very future oriented, imaginative, seemingly impossible, but we did it.
So, why can't we do the same thing with water? Not hard to describe at all: save water where there is a lot of it and move it to where we need it when we need it. It would involve building a lot of unimaginatively large reservoirs and a system of canals rivalling those on Mars. Sell bonds to pay for it. Decent rate of interest, and I'd buy some. Rick Macherat
11232258.1Now it's housing already. Notice how one of these financial meltdowns happens about every ten years? That's about the length of time it takes for a recent business school hotshot to get from being hired to where he has some say in how things are done, maybe even getting a title and appearing with Maria on MSNBC. He is so raw meat for the more seasoned sharpies. Them folks you never hear about, the ones who end up with all the money: I know, how's about we play Musical Shares with mortgages? Loan tons of money to people who can't even make it paycheck-to-paycheck, bundle the crap up and sell it with a good credit rating to the Euroes, then head for the Bahamas. It worked in 1987 and 1999, didn't it?
Small difference this time. More people, better noses, worser stink. And the houses are still there, worth less but still there. Not like Dot-Com where there was nothing left but a lot of overpriced office furniture.
If the gubment blinks and so much as bails out a dime on this one ... well, I'll start thinking seriously about cheating on my Income Taxes for sure. Rick Macherat
