Post  #2550.   This will be interesting.     This man is a new arrival in Seattle, the incoming President of the University of Washington, Michael K. Young.


Now, let me say up front that I've known a lot of Mormons, and I generally like them. I've never felt a need to mock or belittle them, even though I think their religion is ridiculous. Michael Young is a Mormon, a descendant of Brigham Young himself no less. That said, Young takes charge here in an environment which is erschreckend politisch korrekt, except for Mormons and Christian Conservatives. These are fair game in Seattle. I won't be invited to any of the fancy events scheduled for the welcoming, but I imagine they will be like those for the first "Negro" way back when. Uncomfortable and proper.

All I wanted to say right out loud was could a man possibly look more like a Mormon? And could that be more perfect for Seattle, or whut? And finally, where on earth was he when they were casting for Big Love? There, I've let it out. Feel better.Rick Macherat Rick M. In the day.

posted by Rick at 11:58 PM

Post  #2549.   Ivory, the final. At last.     Here is a short history of my situation with Ivory, the soap. I typed these posts awhile back:

Sunday, March 29, 2009

#2388. Soap Sayings. Try this one,

Making the very simple complicated is easy
Making the complicated simple is brilliant.

and thus Ivory introduces you to its new version of soap. If that isn't classy enough for you, they even translate it into French. I composed a third line,

Taking fetid factory and barnyard products and making them soapy and smelling like a warm summer breeze wafting over roses is miraculous.

Aren't you being a little hard on Ivory soap? I wrote to them, you know. Never answered. All I wanted to know was if they stashed any of the old Ivory, the Legacy Ivory, Classic Ivory, True Ivory (for the search) somewhere, so old true users might have just one little innocent lather before they pass on. Money no object, as if that would matter. It's clear to me now, the Top People at Ivory stashed plenty of Classic Ivory all right, in their private vaults two levels beneath their safe rooms at hideaway apocalypse estates far up in the hills. Tons of it, for them and their progeny until the end of time.

Meanwhile, I vigorously rubbed up the last few feeble bubbles of my last bar today. It was so .. soapy .. sweet, and unscented, just like a baby. Or like a baby used to be. From now on you will close your eyes and instead of precious babysmell you'll get a snoutful of China.

Friday, December 26, 2008

#2337. Trying to contact Ivory. I haven't given up on my quest to find pure, original Ivory soap. The scent of that new stuff is so awful that I feel like lathering my hands in dirt instead, then rinsing them off. Also, it feels really stupid using dishwashing liquid in the shower.

I decided to write them. Oh sure, they offshore all their customer communications just like Albertsons, well, former Albertsons, with whom I had a lot of contact before they forgot how to do groceries and sold the company ... anyway, they send all the writing to places like India where people with zero authority to do anything type up an answer for you. They are awfully nice and write far better in English than we do. Don't bother getting a back-and-forth going, for you will never get a reply from the original fake name again.

So, I went to Proctor & Gamble. Yes, it still exists, but who knows where, Belgium most likely. They give you a form, but FIRST you must navigate a field of 90-some FAQ's so they can limit your question to the least bothersome topic possible. Then, you fill out an FBI interrogation with your life history and information. Once you've passed all these checkpoints, you get a message telling you to wait and not to click on backspace; your query will be answered in a few moments. No surprise, nothing ever happens. That screen has been on my computer in its own window for three days now, in "pressed down," waiting mode. I know it will never go; I'm just waiting to see if it has a timeout somewhere beyond 72 hours.

I wish there was a way to contact P&G's research department, assuming they still even have one. Somebody seriously needs to get, buy, steal or duplicate that unearthly scent stuff the Chinese put in the Ivory Soap to make it not stink quite so bad. Especially at times like Christmas Day when your whole house could use a good dose of it. It's a tossup: a rose-tossed-in-a-cesspool smell of the New Ivory, or the original and ubiquitous "Scent of China" on everything else.

But tonight I can announce news on the Sweet Ivory front: Old Wonderful Ivory is back! I hadn't thought about it for awhile and had actually adjusted to that light, unwelcome waft of perfume at each washing, and I did not notice the change when it went away. Not only that, but the message on the package is gone as well.

We will never know how it happened. Proctor&Gamble certainly isn't going to admit an error of this colossalness. And I have No Problem with that so long as they keep churning out the old stuff. Maybe I should buy up a ton of it like I did with 100-watt light bulbs?

So nice to win one or a change. Maybe there's hope ...? Don't be ridiculous. This is one thing. Soap. There will never be hope anymore. Okay.Rick Macherat Rick M. In the day.

posted by Rick at 10:44 PM

Post  #2548.   More Mad inspiration.     

The expansive and wonderful
place which fills your field of view
behind this sign is a
facility for poverty things,
built and equipped entirely
with a generous appropriation from
Senator Ted Kennedy
Lion of the Senate

Rick Macherat Rick M. In the day.

posted by Rick at 2:34 PM

Post  #2547.   Numbers.     Try this sometime. When you're copying a number, at least 10 digits, instead of saying the integers to yourself before turning to copy them, do it completely visually. Skip the brain step and don't "think" the number. You'll find (I did anyway) that you can copy a longer series, more accurately. Have to clear your thoughts entirely though, otherwise you'll get to the copy step completely blank. Interesting. I haven't tried it with anything but numbers. Might have to do with my pre-senility.

I watched a few minutes of Glee tonight. Really. I've no idea about the storyline except the hard-faced blonde is a supposed villain (but with a heart, secretly,) that there's a gay kid (oh really, what a surprise) and there is a whole lot of talent. It was the last thing that interested me. Good grief. They did two numbers while I was watching and both were better than anything that currently wins those ridiculous contests and awards shows. All over on little old Channel 13.

Speaking of Channel 13, I heard House is about done. Any bets on who gets to kill him? I'm conflicted, and since I haven't really followed the show except when reruns pop up somewhere, I'm not qualified to vote. (Okay, I like 13 for it.)Rick Macherat Rick M. In the day.

posted by Rick at 11:17 PM

Post  #2546.   New Today.     A story from Los Angeles: At 2AM, south of downtown, seems a drunk woman driver, talking on a cellphone, plowed her car into a group of about 100 bicyclists, injuring eleven of them. The bikers belonged to "Midnight Ridazz," a Koreatown bicycling group which goes for late night group biking excursions. I read the comments which followed the article, 780 so far. Yes, there was something for everyone in that story.Rick Macherat Rick M. In the day.

posted by Rick at 11:43 AM

Post  #2545.   Waste, Fraud and Abuse.     Pass this along. It could get you into heated conversations or typebates if you enjoy that sort of thing. It just dawned on me today that Waste, Fraud and Abuse .. do not matter. Not an iota of difference in the end result, pumping money into the economy. If anything, WFA is more efficient since it requires no administration or oversight. I remember arguing back in college (unsuccessfully) that while the Marshall Plan did some good in the recovery of Europe after World War II, it was the black market trade in Lucky Strike cigarettes which really jump-started the economies of Western Europe, beginning with Germany. Heck, I was just a kid, living in Germany in 1952 and I remember wondering why the big deal about cigarettes? My parents smoked, but all of us Americans were warned vigorously not to let the Germans get their hands on any of our precious smokes. Enough g.i.'s and their willing German counterparts defied this strict rule, and the result is the German economic powerhouse of today. Wish now I had been a bit more brave and entrepreneurial back then.Rick Macherat Rick M. In the day.

posted by Rick at 1:17 AM