Post  #2687.   The rain MMXVI. I just ventured out to the front porch for a minute. It's raining. Since this time last evening, around midnight, it hasn't stopped. It rained all night, plinking occasionally on the wind chimes. It rained all day in a perpetual gray you'd have to see to believe, on another type of planet somewhere, one without a sun. Come dinnertime, it was still raining as I opened a window to cool off the kitchen. After dinner, the rain set off the mood nicely, what with the fire and all. It's strange, I know, but I love the smell of a thousand wet wood fires. You wouldn't think smoke could be wet, but it can.

It has continued to rain all evening. I suppose there was a sunset because it's dark now. How dark? As dark as Seattle can get when you might ask, "Was there ever light around here anyway?"

So, mark this one down. Rain. Tomorrow, I'll look at the back page of the second section of the paper, weather facts, yesterday's stats, and it will say .. Seattle - tr.

Can you imagine how many days of raining all morning, then raining all day, followed by raining all evening and finally raining all night and still only manage a trace? What's more, imagine how many days like that it takes to get 38 inches in a year (supposedly.)

I do love it so.Rick Macherat Rick M. In the day.
posted by Rick at 12:59 AM

Post  #2686.   The Freud Class.  I took it, back in 1965. Psych 311, I think. It went all over the place, but the central theme was Freud's Five Stages of Psychosexual Development:

Oral
Anal
Phallic
Latent
Genital

Take two Bluebooks and remember Original American People Lost Ground. You could write for days. Easy A.Rick Macherat Rick M. In the day.
posted by Rick at 12:52 AM

Post  #2695.   Pretty slow tonight, so I'll type some. I wrote this.

on Monday, she wrapped the bug tenderly
tossed it out the window
on Tuesday she stomped one in a fury
scraped it off her shoe
this was the same little girl!
different bugs though

Where I left off

I walked over to Larry's yesterday and rang the bell. No answer, so I went around back. Arlene was out there by the pool, with a monkey! Hi, Rick, come on in the gate and let me show you what the monkey can do.

I went in the yard and sat down, and Arlene shouted, Go on, little money, do your trick, whereupon the money climbed up the pool slide and went sailing into the water. Gee, Arlene, I wouldn't have thought a monkey would like the water, I said. Me either, but he loves it. Hold on, I'll go and get you a drink, she replied as she left

No sooner had she gotten into the house did the monkey come over to me. Cute little monkey, one of those tiny ones they cut up for research. He says, You want to see what else I can do? I didn't answer. He picked up her drink and downed a good slug of it. Then, he went over and got the garden hose, turned on the faucet, refilled the glass and put it back where it had been.

HA! Silly monkey, I laughed, She's a vodka drinker and would miss evaporation! That monkey looked at me quizzically; at least it appeared quizzical, how can you tell with monkeys, and went back to his screeching and bounding about. I called out to him, Say, monkey ... do they know you can talk? Nope, he replied. Suppose I tell them? He laughed long and hard, and I can tell you that a monkey-laugh is spooky, especially from this one who not only talked but seemed to have an odd sense of humor. He replied, Who'd believe a story like that, Rick?

He's right, of course. This recounting is about an episode which very probably happened yesterday afternoon. I feel I may meet this monkey again.

Some notes for industry. To Hewlitt-Packard: You should either (1) put a note on your printers: Not recommended for use by old people; or, (2) hire some geriatric folk to work in the ergonomics department. Once you observe that it takes two of them, one to help the other to the floor and back up and hold the flashlight, and the other to crawl in with the magnifying glass, just to read the model number, you'll see why. And for you, Nokia, and other makers of cell phones, are you ashamed of your model numbers? Probably so, since they become extinct before the "Plan" even runs out. Which brings us to AT&T Wireless, and I know you were just acquired by Cingular, but I fully expect your "Plan" nonsense to migrate over there. Would it be too much trouble to keep some old time (beyond two years) employees around awhile, so there is someone on staff who has at least heard of a few of the legacy "Plans?" Mine has almost gotten to the point where I can finally cancel it without a penalty, but it seems no longer to exist. Oh, and by the way, Cingular, you know where is says to call AT&T customer service to convert our "Plans" to you guys? They never heard of you.

La maison mauvaise de la famille. Or something to that effect. I have to turn the sound down on French films because I pick up just enough of the dialog to realize the subtitles are being translated too freely. This one is about skeletons in the closet with a lot of love tension. Uh oh, they just did it, so the die is cast. See, her father and his mother died in a car crash, then the remaining spouses married each other. Besides, the fathers were brothers. That makes them already cousins, but wait. He remembers his stepmother telling his father in an argument that he might not be the son's father. Soooooooo, either the new lovers are not related at all or they are really brother and sister, which might account for the distress at home when the aunt tells the parents that they've gone off to La maison mauvaise for a three-day getaway. Too late now.

The girl is pretty and has the kind of face that will stay pretty even into middle-age when the lines set in. However, the boy who is also pretty now, well, his face is the kind of French face which will morph into a beaked, pea-eyed, chinless miscreation just like his father's, whoever he was.

Why am I watching a French film, again? Have you seen television today? Don't turn it on, just don't even turn it on today.

It's only money. Some people, mainly economists, believe it is simplistic to compare a national economy to the finances of the average household. Simple, yes, but not simplistic. You make and you spend, then you borrow the difference. (Or save it, theoretically.) When you've borrowed too much, you just sign up for a new credit card! That's what the government does. Some day, they'll make an announcement that a "computer glitch" accidentally erased the Treasury's records of Bills, Notes and such. That was the bad news; the good news is that the National Debt is gone.

How could that be!!? Easy. They don't actually print up notes and bills anymore. It's all just booked electronically. While they still issue U.S. Savings Bonds, they make up only a tiny fraction of the debt. Sure, a lot of furrin countries will be pissed, along with the drug lords, but what recourse do they have? Repossess the country? The United States is the world's savings account, and as soon as they think we'll be paying interest again we can start borrowing some more. Not to worry.

Incidentally, while the debt is largely electronic now, there are still some actual instruments in circulation, held by collectors and old people mainly. So, if you run across a $500,000,000.00 Treasury Note, make sure it has McKinley's picture on it. Otherwise, don't take it.

In aviation news, Middle Eastern startup carrier, Jazeera Airlines, has postponed plans for direct service to several destinations in the United States. Company officials could not be reached for comment. In a related story, startup U.S. carrier, Bombing-you-and-stealing-your-oil Airlines also had no comment on their cutback to plans for service to a number of Middle Eastern locations.

While pouring (about half a million pieces of) Instant Rice last night, I was reminded about that Free Rice website. So tonight, with The Season and all, I went over there. First, I missed couple of words to see what the penalty would be. Seems there is none, except you get no rice. Bummer. Then I went on to score an impressive string of correct answers, raised my Vocab score to a 10 and sent 680 grains of rice to somebody starving. Cool. Then I lost interest in it.

Am I cynical about this too? You bet. See, we'll give, give til it hurts, but only if we're amused. If the concert sucks .. well let somebody else cure that disease, whatever it was. Sad thing is, very little would be given to charity without some kind of hook. I learned that when I got volunteered (decades ago) as the company representative for United Way. We'd have our little meetings and presentations - sometimes a good-looking fireman would come by and join in, and I guess they're all good-looking if you're a hotel maid who has already cleaned 15 toilets today and it's 3:15 and you get an unexpected 25 minute break before the 16th. And then our progress charts, and was it all ever gawdawful. We sent our money in and it got added to the pot and the city totaled it all up to $25 million or $250 million or whatever, and all those organizations survived for another year. And that night we got ripped and went to a concert and I think we gave some more money to something else and felt really, really good and warm about it as we sang along sort of and tried to light something to wave. It was a very boozy cause, I remember that. Did I say boozy? I meant worthy, a very worthy cause.Rick Macherat Rick M. In the day.
posted by Rick at 12:09 AM

Post  #2694.   A miserable crank.  I'm going to be 71 years old this week. There, that should clear out 70% of people browsing about. They hate the idea of old people on the Internet. In their place, I would too. I don't smoke, drink or do sex anymore. Not by choice, I assure you. That leaves sitting in my chair, watching television, eating and then sleeping. No no no ... don't feel sorry for me; I'm perfectly content. Was.

Comcast changed the cable box for a newer model, and my lamp finally broke, cruelly, on the same day. I've rigged some substitute illumination, but it isn't good. Light has to be Just Right, and this isn't. As for the cable box remote control .. there are no words. As I explained earlier, one of the benefits of turning 70, the only one actually, is that you don't have to give a shit anymore. That in mind, I can type that only the Chinese could royally fuck up something as miraculous as a cable remote device. And get this, my sweet great-grandniece can't watch the Disney Channel during my nap because it's in Spanish now!

If all of that wasn't bad enough, once you do get the television on and find a channel, it's all about the election. Can you believe this mess? What happens if it's ultimately Trump vs. that Commie? Well, the old people won't vote at all for once, and that leaves the choice to the 70%. God help us already.Rick Macherat Rick M. In the day.
posted by Rick at 12:44 AM